1. "I’m getting a divorce," Bill said to his friend. ‘My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months."

The friend thought for a moment and then replied, "Just make sure you know what you’re doing, Bill. Wives like that are hard to find"

2. A man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

3. A man is complaining to a friend: "I had it all, money, a beautiful house, an expensive car, a small yacht and the love of a beautiful woman. Then, all of a sudden, it was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked the friend.

"My wife found out!" replied the man.