How do you confuse a blonde girl?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!

How do you know if your a red neck?
You go to the family reunon to find a date!

Have you ever noticed... anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac. George Carlin

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first?
The dog, because at least he would shut up once he was in.

Why are blondes only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain. Carol Leifer