Short funny jokes, quips, one liners, questions and answers and more.2012-02-04T17:00:12ZThe Joke Index dh@thejokeindex.comCopyright 2012, The Joke Index dh@thejokeindex.comSPHPBLOGExam For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?"
A female student answered: "Because they won't ask for directions either."]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry110408-1929162011-04-09T00:00:00Z2011-04-09T00:00:00ZHow He Got Rich The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry110312-2219552011-03-13T00:00:00Z2011-03-13T00:00:00ZBachelor Cooking "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'"]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry110312-2218062011-03-13T00:00:00Z2011-03-13T00:00:00ZThe Macarena The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"
To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first." ]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry110312-2205412011-03-13T00:00:00Z2011-03-13T00:00:00ZPlay your age A man next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Well, he thinks, maybe she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 27. When 35 came up she fainted!"]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry110312-2201572011-03-13T00:00:00Z2011-03-13T00:00:00ZThirteen Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn't. Then he spotted a hole in the wood.
He put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, the people started chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..." ]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry080625-2200292008-06-26T00:00:00Z2008-06-26T00:00:00ZCab Driver For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years." ]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry080530-0050202008-05-30T00:00:00Z2008-05-30T00:00:00ZRandom Short Funny Jokes #1 A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. "Jury trial," the defendant replied. "Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge. "Sure," replied the defendant, "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that kinda steep?", asked the man while dolling out the $50.00. "Yes," answered the lawyer, "what's your third question?"]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry080523-2113152008-05-24T00:00:00Z2008-05-24T00:00:00ZSilly Questions #3 What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry080521-1621152008-05-21T00:00:00Z2008-05-21T00:00:00ZSilly Questions #2 Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?]]>http://www.thejokeindex.com/jokequips/index.php?entry=entry080521-1619302008-05-21T00:00:00Z2008-05-21T00:00:00Z