Manager: "Do you know anything about this fax machine?"

Employee:"A little. Whats wrong?"

Manager: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."

Employee: "How did you load the sheet?"

Manager: "Its a pretty sensitive memo, and I didnt want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she had noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait after the war and observed that the men were walking several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines."

There were three boys who liked to play together. Their names were Manners, Trouble and Shut Up. One day they were playing hide and seek. Manners got a stomach ache so he went to the toilet. Trouble was hiding. Shut Up was looking for Trouble when he met a policeman.

The policeman said, "What is your name?"
"Shut up!"
The policeman replied, "Are you looking for trouble?"
"Yes!"
The policeman fumed, "Where are your manners?"
"In the toilet."

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.
When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.
I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.
Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?
I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, not anytime.
And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free so Give back my glove!!