Two old men are pushing their shopping carts through the aisles of a department store when they crash into each other.

The first old man says to the second old man, "Excuse me. I'm sorry about that. I was looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old man says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old man says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

The second old man says, "Well, she is 25 years old, tall, with red hair, green eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

To which the first old man says, "It doesn't matter, let's both look for yours!"

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, were in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?", to which the mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ahhhhhhh, C'mon lady!!!! Tell your daughter the truth!!!! For crying out loud. They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.

One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God. Do they eat dogs in America?"

"I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled.

"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do."

They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please."

The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"

This man I know is a little bit on the crazy side. The first time he went up in an airplane, it was to skydive.

The second time was a few months later on a commercial flight. When the plane started the descent for landing, he got a quite nervous.

The lady sitting next to him asked "Is this you first time flying?"

And he responded, "No. Just my first time landing."