A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. The brunette says to the bartender, "Give me an ML." The bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller Lite.

Then the redhead says to the bartender, "I'd like a BL." Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a Bud Lite.

The blonde then says to the bartender, "Give me a Fifteen."

"A Fifteen?" the bartender replies, "What the heck is that?"

"Oh, you know," the blonde says, "A Seven and Seven."

A man stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up red roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.

"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to the first man and begged, "May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" The first man asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," the young man confided. "I broke my wife's new iPad!"

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. While the man watched, he saw his wife meeting another man!

He saw the two of them holding hands and laughing in the park.

He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.

He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.

He saw them running on the beach.

He saw the man and his wife participate in several other activities with utter glee.

"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.

The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"

A man who had a too much to drink was driving home one night and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.

"So," said the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "Why, I've been to a bar of course" slured the driver.

"Well," said the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a bit to drink this evening".

"I did all right," the drunk said with a lopsided grin.

"Did you know," said the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few blocks back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank goodness," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."