A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. While the man watched, he saw his wife meeting another man!

He saw the two of them holding hands and laughing in the park.

He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.

He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.

He saw them running on the beach.

He saw the man and his wife participate in several other activities with utter glee.

"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.

The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"

A man who had a too much to drink was driving home one night and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.

"So," said the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "Why, I've been to a bar of course" slured the driver.

"Well," said the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a bit to drink this evening".

"I did all right," the drunk said with a lopsided grin.

"Did you know," said the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few blocks back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank goodness," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

A man and his wife are asleep in bed when they hear a loud knocking on the door. The man rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's after three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he gets out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It doesn't take the man long to realize the man at the door is drunk.

"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"

"No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says:

"That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"

"But the guy was drunk." says the husband.

"It doesn't matter." says the wife. "He needs our help and helping him would be the right thing to do."

So the man out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts:

"Hey, do you still want a push??" and he hears a voice cry out "Yes please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your front porch swing."

Every night after dinner, Joe left the house and went off to the local bar. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, after midnight, very drunk.

He usually had trouble getting his key into the door lock and therefore couldn't get the door open. Every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him, for his constant nights out and always coming home in a drunken state. But Joe just continued his nightly routine.

One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior and was particularly upset by it all.

The friend listened and said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then he might change his ways."

The wife didn't think this would work but thought that it might be worth trying.

That night, Joe left after dinner again, and at about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition.

His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Joe in.

Instead of yelling at him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat Joe down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a little while, she said to Joe, "It's pretty late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you think?"

At that, in his drunken state he replied, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble when I get home anyway!"