The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.

"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"

"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"

The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

One afternoon, a young boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town to go shopping. The boy decided to go fishing but he had to take his baby sister along.

"I will never do that again." the boy told his mother later that evening. "I didn't catch a thing! I didn't even get a single bite."

"Oh, next time I'm sure that the baby will be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.

The boy replied, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."

Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yard. He turns to the pro and says, "What did I do wrong" The pro says, "Loft."

The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He asks the pro, "What did I do wrong" The pro says, "Loft."

The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the pro, "What did I do wrong" The pro says. "Loft."

As they're walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks up.

He says to the pro, "The three of us hit completely different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong, you answered the same exact answer each time. What is loft""

The pro says, "Lack of freaking talent."