A couple had been married for 30 years and were celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.

During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and, the wife had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy waved her wand and, he was 90.

A man was walking down the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will hit you, run you over and you will die." The man did as he was instructed. Just then a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where in the heck were you when I got married?"

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Roy", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Glen then?" he asked.

"NO !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.

1. The last big decision she let him make was whether to wash or to dry.

2. He goes to a woman dentist - it's a relief to be told to open his mouth instead of to shut it.

3. Although he wears the pants in the house, he wears them under his apron.

4. Although he always has the last word it's always, "I'm sorry.

5. Although he always says what he thinks, it's always what she tells him to think.