One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived, and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzipps her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrased the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.

The girl turns around furiously and says, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!”

The man says, “Well, Miss, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yes, well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it! Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

"I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"

For a moment there is silence.

Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.

"I can make you feel like a woman," he says.

He's drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.

No one moves.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches.

He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to run some errands.

The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.

The father did everything he could think of doing, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

"Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be changed!"

The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"